The Eternal Bond
by roselefontaine
Summary: A Will Riker and Deanna Troi Love Story. Post "Generations". Warning: Character death.


The Eternal Bond

Deanna Troi stood in the observation lounge of the starbase, staring out the viewport to the stars beyond. She came here for some much needed time alone, to think, to contemplate. She reached her arms around herself, as if in a comforting embrace, and bowed her head, as if in a prayer. She was wondering how she came to be at this point in her life. How it had all added up to this, the Enterprise D destroyed, her engagement to Worf, her crewmates and friends all going off in different directions, different lives. Including Will, her imzadi. How did she and Will lose each other? _Imzadi_ was supposed to be forever.

She pondered the first time she saw him at her best friend Chandra's wedding. She sensed strong, sensual thoughts directed at her and turned to see who they were coming from. His strikingly handsome (and red) face caught her heart; when their eyes met it was as if their souls touched each other. No man had ever affected her like that. He pursued her relentlessly and finally agreed to have her teach him the Betazoid ways. After stumbling over each other a bit, he finally won her heart, and after rescuing her from the Sindareen raider, they fell deeply in love and discovered they were imzadi. It was unusual, since imzadi were mostly Betazoid pairings, but her mother had been imzadi with a man from earth as well. But Deanna and Will were young, and her mother convinced her to turn him away. Upon that rejection he turned to alcohol and then slept with another woman, breaking Deanna's heart. She still cringed at the thought of it. Neither of them could say goodbye, it was just too painful. For their bond was still there; she told him imzadi was forever. Letting her go was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, and after a short time he contacted her again, convincing her to meet him on Risa to marry him. He didn't want to be without her. But Deanna knew, somewhere deep down inside, that he wouldn't show up. He was too young to handle the depth of the bond they shared, too career-driven to give it all up for love. Sure enough, he received a promotion and sent her a message "I'm so sorry Deanna, I was promoted and not allowed to leave the ship. I will contact you." And for awhile he did; they sent communiqués back and forth, but his became less and less and Deanna realized he was leaving her behind. She spent many days and many hours sobbing in her mother's arms, the tearing of the imzadi bond just too painful. It took her years to heal, and she poured herself into her classes at Starfleet. Several years later she was the first counselor assigned to a starship, and assigned to the flagship, no less. As she was reviewing the roster of the people she would be counseling, the name that lit a thousand fires in her soul was there. "William T. Riker, First Officer". "My god, Will" she had thought to herself. "You really did make it up the ranks quickly." She wondered if he was seeing someone, if he was married by now. She didn't know what to expect when they met again. But there he was, rounding the corner with the Captain, who didn't know they were connected. His face was as beautiful as she remembered, and her heart beat wildly as soon as their eyes met. Her knees felt weak, but she kept her composure. She sent to his mind "do you remember what I taught you imzadi? Can you still hear my thoughts?" As she approached him she could see in his face that he'd heard her. The painful look on his face, the sadness in her eyes, it didn't go unnoticed by the Captain, he figured out they'd known each other before. Deanna comforted Will secretly in the turbolift "I too could never say goodbye, imzadi". It had all been so sad, the way they had parted. The bond between them was still reaching out, longing to be connected.

The days and months that followed their reunion on the Enterprise were awkward at best. Deanna knew she still had feelings for him but didn't dare say anything, she knew she needed to be professional. Will still had feelings for her as well, but he still did not want to settle down, with something as serious as the imzadi bond. Deanna's heart broke a little every time he was with another woman. But she allowed herself to date other men as well, and even thought she'd been in love once or twice. A couple strange times Will had kissed her, unable to be that close to her without physically expressing how much he missed her, but she would then pull away, and finally one night after a poker game when they'd both been drinking, he asked her if she still thought about him; about them. As he caressed her cheek and ran his fingers through her hair, her heart stopped, but she told him "We can't imzadi. Not while we're serving on the same ship." But they kissed anyway, and it was passionate and full of fervent love, and Deanna could have easily given in. But she stopped him. She was remembering all the women he had been with, and how deeply wounding that had been for her. She didn't trust him. She didn't trust that he wasn't just interested in a physical relationship with her. She was pretty clear with him that it wasn't going to happen.

However, they couldn't stay away from each other and turned their bond into a deep friendship. They met for dinners and crew evaluations, they supported each other. They became each other's best friend. At times the old feelings arose in each of them, but Deanna was too afraid and Will didn't dare push her. And after Worf's experience with parallel universes where he and Deanna were married, she found it was easy to fall into a relationship with him. He truly seemed to care for her, and she found him exotic and different. Perhaps deep down she secretly hoped Will would come after her, but she knew that wasn't fair. She still didn't trust he would ever want a committed lifetime relationship with her, and she wouldn't dishonor the imzadi bond by doing it any other way. Will was deeply hurt when Deanna took up with Worf, he had been thinking for some time of asking her out, acting on the feelings he still had for her. But when he finally did ask her out it was too late, she was already with Worf. He cursed himself for waiting so long, because now he was ready. Now he was ready to commit to his imzadi, the beautiful woman he had been in love with forever, who held his heart in her hands, and she was with someone else. Will had a very difficult time after that.

Then the Enterprise D crashed and was demolished, and now they were all on starbase 35 preparing for their next assignments. Worf was returning to the Klingon homeworld, and Deanna knew she did not want to join him. It was obvious to her now, now that all of their lives were being turned upside down, that she did not want to marry Worf. That she was still in love with Will. When she met Worf for dinner earlier, he knew why. "You have never been out of love with him, Deanna" he had said to her. "You knew that, but I didn't. I truly felt I loved you, Worf." she had replied. He was somewhat comforted by her words, and they parted as friends. As she stood in the transporter room to say goodbye tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She could have sworn she saw one on Worf's cheek also. Now she was here in the observation lounge deciding if she should go and see Will. He had been assigned to Section 31, to train their pilots in crisis drills. She was going back home to Betazed to help her mother with ambassadorial duties. None of them knew if they would be assigned to the new Enterprise, although the Captain would surely be requesting it. She had not talked to Will in so long, outside of professional duties. Their friendship had dwindled partly due to the time she spent with Worf, and partly because she had allowed it to. Sometimes she felt like she discarded Will by the wayside, and wondered if she was still so hurt by his initial abandonment that she was secretly acting out on it. She hadn't meant to.

So now she stood, her body trembling, thinking of going to see Will in his quarters on the starbase. He was shipping out tomorrow, and she soon after that. She made her decision. With shaking legs she walked to the turbolift and rode it to his corridor, approaching his door with sweating palms and a dry mouth. She rang the chime. No answer. She rang it again. Still no answer. She spoke out loud "computer, location of Commander William T. Riker". "Commander Riker is in the Starr Lounge" it replied. Deanna sighed. Could her trembling legs take her all the way over to the Lounge? She hesitated again, but then decided she needed to follow through with this. She needed to see him again, to talk to him, to see if their relationship still had a chance. She walked to the lounge and entered it. Everyone was talking and laughing and having a good time. She scanned the room for Will, and finally spotted him. He was sitting at the bar, very obviously flirting with a beautiful blonde woman sitting next to him. Deanna felt rage. She knew she had no rational reason to feel that way, Will had every right to flirt with whomever he wanted. But she still felt she belonged to him, and he to her, rational or not, and seeing him pursue someone else was killing her. She turned and left the lounge.

The next morning Deanna pondered the idea of going to see Will off in the transporter room. He was leaving early, and she would have time. She decided she would. What did she have to lose? Again, she was trembling. She heard his voice as she came around the corner, he was talking to the transporter chief. Just as he stepped up to the pad, Deanna entered the room. His head snapped up and his eyes grew wide. "Deanna" he whispered. She walked towards him with her hand held out. "Will…. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye….." The transporter chief interrupted them. "I'm sorry Commander, they're requesting I beam you aboard now." Will's eyes grew sad as he reached his hand out and touched hers, just as the transporter beam took him away. For a brief moment an electricity passed through them, and then… nothing. Deanna sat down on the floor and began to cry, as the perplexed transporter chief gently excused himself to leave her alone.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Deanna Troi was tired of diplomatic duties. If she were to be honest with herself, she was tired of her mother. She loved her, but spending this much time with her was grating. She had applied to, and been accepted to teach Psychology at the Academy back on earth, but she was still hoping for some news from Captain Picard re: the new Enterprise. She had remained in contact with Beverly who was now teaching at the Academy, but Beverly hadn't heard anything yet either. She desperately wanted to contact Will, but being with section 31 there was no way to get a message to him. She was sure he was so involved with his secretive duties that he could not contact her. She wondered if he knew she and Worf had broken up. She wondered if their brief encounter in the transporter room had shown him how much she still loved him. The touch of his hand on hers, however slight, kept her going through these long lonely months. When she saw him again, if she saw him again, she knew she would tell him what he meant to her, how she never wanted to let him go again.

Will's duties were draining and exhaustive. He loved having such an important position but he missed the Enterprise. He missed Deanna. How could he tell her? She was engaged to Worf. His heart ached every time he thought of it. He wondered why she had come to tell him goodbye but he was glad she did. That one touch of his hand on hers, however slight, kept him going through the long and lonely nights. He thought of how her hair smelled, her soft skin, her fathomless black eyes. But he knew she was no longer his. For all he knew she and Worf were married by now. He swallowed the bile that thought brought to his throat and decided that he needed to move on. He would request of his superior officer to be assigned to his task for another year.

Finally, Deanna heard from Beverly. It had been six months since they'd all gone their separate ways. With an excited voice Beverly told her they'd all been invited back to the new Enterprise E, with the exception of Worf who would be leaving for Deep Space Nine. Their reporting date was June 6th, just a week away. Deanna was beside herself with joy. She would see Will again! For all the days and nights she had thought of him, wondering how he was doing, missing him deeply, longing to be held in his arms. Finally she could talk to him, tell him how she felt! When she arrived on the ship and began to move into her quarters, she immediately walked next door to see if he had arrived yet. She rang the chime. "Come" a familiar voice said. But it was not the familiar voice she'd hoped for. "Data! What are you doing in here?" she asked as she walked in and saw Data unpacking his things. "Why Counselor, were you not aware that I am now first officer of the Enterprise?" Deanna's eyes grew wide and her mouth hung open. "What?" she said, not meaning to sound so rude. "Commander Riker has asked to stay on at section 31 for another year. I am taking his place until then." Data replied. "Oh" Deanna said, disappointment filling her face. "I am sorry this does not please you, Cousnelor". Data said. "Oh Data" Deanna replied apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant to be rude. I was just hoping to see Will". Data cocked his head. "I understand" he said, stoically. Deanna gave him a smile and then turned to go. He didn't really understand, she knew. The depth of disappointment she was feeling. god, she had wanted to see Will so bad, to talk to him. How could she wait another year? It had been so long already. She sighed as her shoulders dropped. This would be a long year. A long, difficult year.

Being reunited with her crewmates still felt good to Deanna. She'd missed Beverly so much and the Captain. They all fell back into the routine easily enough, and it didn't take long to get used to Data being their first officer. Deanna wrote in her journal every night of her feelings for Will, her longing, and counting the days until he would return to her. She prayed for his safety in his dangerous job. She took care for her own safety on away missions. She kept herself busy, exercising with Beverly, enjoying nights out in ten forward, keeping her counseling schedule full. She had many offers from would-be suitors, but she turned them all down. Her heart longed for only one man. And soon he would be joining her, joining them; a family re-united.

It wasn't long before the day was almost here. Deanna couldn't believe the year had passed so quickly, she had handled it quite well. She was planning on greeting Will in the transporter room when he arrived the next day. She spent hours deciding how to do her hair, which uniform to wear. She decided on the turquoise one, that was his favorite. She wore his favorite perfume. When she entered the transporter room, the Captain was there, waiting for Will. He gave Deanna a curious look, but didn't pay any further attention. When the beam began to materialize Deanna's heart pounded, nearly out of her chest. She wanted to throw herself at the beam so that she would already be hugging Will when he materialized. But something was odd; there were two beams. And when they both materialized, there stood Will Riker, holding the hand of the blonde woman she had seen him with before, both of them laughing and giggling. Her heart stopped. "oh god" she thought. "Will, Julie, welcome!" the Captain said as he held out his hands to them. "It sure is good to have you back, Number One!" "Likewise, sir" Will replied as he shook the Captain's hand vigorously. Then, as the Captain conversed with Julie, Will noticed someone else was standing there and turned his head. Deanna was like a deer caught in the headlights. She just stared at him, wide-eyed. Will attempted a half-smile, and Deanna could sense many emotions; guilt, love, longing, sadness, guilt. Will made an obvious attempt to look at Deanna's left hand; looking for her wedding ring. Deanna touched her ring finger self-consciously. Of course, there was nothing there. The Captain and Julie looked up and saw Will and Deanna staring at each other. Julie shifted uncomfortably. "Deanna, have you met Will's wife Julie? She will be working in the science lab. Julie, this is Deanna Troi, our ships' counselor." "Oh, it's nice, and a little scary to be greeted by the Counselor" Julie laughed as she reached out to shake Deanna's hand. "But I've heard all about you" she said as Deanna looked at Will whose cheeks were turning red. "Yes, it's nice to meet you Julie" Deanna managed to say appearing calm and in control. Yet her insides were churning and she wanted nothing more than to run back to her quarters and hide. She felt humiliated and devastated. She and Will still had not said anything to each other. "Well, let's get you two settled" Captain Picard said as he led both Will and Julie out of the transporter room. Just as they were turning the corner Will looked over his shoulder at Deanna. Her eyes were wet and her brows were knit in confusion. His eyes seemed to say the words "I'm sorry" with such a heart-wrenching sadness.

Deanna Troi waited until they were out of sight, then quickly walked to her quarters. Once the door slid shut behind her she threw herself on the couch, head buried in her arms, sobbing. She stayed that way for a long while, trying to make sense of it all. Will must have thought she and Worf had gotten married. Did he marry Julie then because he loved her, or was he just trying to assuage his own grief over Deanna? Deanna chided herself for thinking such a thing. Will Riker would not get married unless he loved the woman. god, Deanna's heart felt torn to shreds. Her imzadi had married someone else. How could she go on? She'd waited so long to tell him, so long. She suddenly realized that the Captain knew Will's wife already, she wondered if Beverly knew anything about it. She decided to pay her a visit.

"Geez Will, you didn't tell me she was so beautiful!" Julie said, an irritation in her voice. Will threw his suitcase on the bed and began to unpack. "I didn't think that would make you too happy, Jules" he replied. Julie sighed. She walked up behind Will and put her arms around him. "god, I know when I married you I would be sharing a piece of your heart with her, but I didn't think it would be this hard. You two seem so suited to each other". "Well, she didn't think so. She married Worf" Will replied, bitterly. "I didn't see a ring" Julie said. Will stood and walked away from Julie's arms, looking out the viewport. "I know. I'm not sure what that was about" he replied. "Well, we're all going to have to figure out how to work together, aren't we?" Julie said. "And besides, I'm the one who got the prize. She was a fool to ever let you go." Will turned to her and smiled. She was kind to him, a good wife. "Let's go to ten forward for dinner tonight" he said. "I'll introduce you to all my friends."

"Beverly, how could you not have told me?!" Deanna yelled at her friend. "My god, I just made a total fool of myself, wearing Will's favorite outfit, his favorite perfume. I'm sure he knew I was there for him!" "Deanna" Beverly sighed. "I just assumed you knew. Word got around so fast. I didn't want to bring it up and open an old wound." Deanna sat down on the couch in Beverly's quarters. She knew she hadn't withheld the information from her intentionally. As she sat there, a tear slowly slid down her cheek. Beverly moved over to comfort her. "I'm sorry, Dee. I'm so sorry". Deanna rested her face on Beverly's shoulder and cried as Beverly placed an arm around her. "I think Will thought you and Worf had married. I don't know the details, but I know Julie requested a position with Section 31 because she had feelings for him. I imagine being that they only knew each other there, they grew close." Deanna cried harder and Beverly just held her close. "You'll get through this Dee. You'll get through this". She comforted her friend.

Beverly convinced Deanna to join her in ten-forward. "You need to put on your most gorgeous dress and flirt a little" she encouraged her. "Bev, I'm really not interested in starting a relationship right now. My heart is as raw as a piece of meat." Beverly chuckled. "Still, it'll be fun. Let's get dressed up and go have dinner." "Okay, I guess" Deanna replied. They both dressed to the hilt, Deanna donning her form-fitting purple satin dress and heels. She put the front part of her hair on top of her head in soft curls while the rest cascaded down on her shoulders. She wore her best perfume, which happened to be the same one Will liked. When the door to ten-forward opened and Beverly and Deanna walked inside, heads turned and whistles could be heard. "Ladies!" Geordi yelled from across the room. "By all means, please come and join us!" He stood from his table as they walked over to him, Data, and Ensign Royles. Geordi let out a low whistle. "My, my, who are you both trying to catch tonight? You are the two most beautiful women I've seen!". "Flatterer" Beverly laughed as she and Deanna took their seats. The five of them laughed and talked and Data asked what the whistles were about. "Why does one whistle when an attractive woman walks by?" he queried. "It's a compliment, Data" Geordi replied. "It means you like what you are seeing". Data cocked his head as he contemplated this, then he looked at Deanna, and did his best to imitate a whistle. "Why thank you, Data, I needed that tonight" Deanna smiled. Just then the doors opened and Will and Julie walked in, Julie held tightly to Will's arm. She immediately saw Deanna, and Deanna could sense the jealousy in her. Will was reluctant to approach the table, but wanted Julie to meet Geordi and Data. "Hey everyone, I'd like you to meet Julie, my wife" he said. Geordi stood to shake her hand. "Yes, I heard you had gotten married over the hiatis, Commander. Congratulations". Julie shook everyone's hand and offered Deanna a sort of smile. Deanna felt tense and was having a hard time relaxing. Will looked around ten forward, and then directly at Deanna. "Where's Worf?" he asked with his eyebrows raised. Deanna opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it. "Weren't you aware Commander? Worf transferred to Deep Space Nine." Geordi said. "My god" Will replied. "I haven't had a chance to look at my roster yet and I can't believe the Captain forgot to tell me!" Then he looked at Deanna with a confused look on his face. "We broke up, Will" Deanna said, softly. Will's eyes shot open wide, then his face grew pensive. "Oh. I'm sorry" he managed to get out as his thoughts were swirling at breakneck speed. But he forgot to take his eyes off Deanna. He just stood there, staring at her. "Come on honey, let's go meet some more people" Julie said as she took his arm and began to pull him away. _"Imzadi"_ Deanna heard whispered in her mind, as Will took one last look at her before joining Julie. "Well, that was awkward. Sorry Counselor" Geordi said as Deanna smiled and shook her head indicating that it was fine. But it wasn't. If she'd been able to tell Will that she and Worf broke up, perhaps he wouldn't have married Julie. Perhaps they'd be together now. She looked longingly after Will and his new wife, then excused herself to go and return to her quarters. Beverly looked sadly after her, knowing her friend's heartbreak.

It never grew comfortable for Will, Julie, and Deanna. Julie was insanely jealous, and understandably so. Will did everything he could to make her happy, but he knew his heart would always belong to Deanna. He consoled himself with the fact that he'd been honest with Julie from the beginning, and they still felt they could build a life together. But if he had known….if he'd only known. It was too late now.

A year passed and Will and Deanna had only conversed on a professional level. Towards the end of the year Julie had gotten pregnant and a party was thrown for them in ten-forward. "Have you heard? Commander Riker's going to have a baby!" Deanna was so sick of hearing it, she wanted to punch the next person who said it. She attended the party out of courtesy, but it broke her heart. She could tell Will and Julie weren't ecstatically happy in their marriage, but at least Julie had him; she didn't. And now she was going to have his child, something Deanna always dreamed would be her. The next day Deanna went to see Captain Picard. "Sir, I am turning in my resignation. It has been an honor to serve with you aboard the Enterprise, but I am needing some time away for personal reasons." The Captain protested quite vehemently, trying to convince her of a vacation or even a sabbatical. Captain Picard knew what this was about, he'd seen the relationship between his First Officer and Counselor over the years and could only imagine the heartbreak Deanna was feeling now. But Deanna knew she couldn't come back. She could never come back. Later, as she was in her quarters packing, her chime rang. "Come" she said as she stuffed another shirt into the suitcase. She immediately felt her imzadi. "Will" she said quietly. Will Riker walked in with the saddest look she had ever seen on his face. "You're resigning" he said. She stood and faced him, slowly nodding her head yes. "Why? Is it because of me?" he asked. Deanna looked to the ground, trying to decide how to answer him. She decided honesty was always best, especially with her imzadi. "Yes" she replied. Will sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Deanna, if I had known you and Worf…." "I know, I know." She said softly. She managed to raise her eyes to meet his, and as a teardrop slid down her cheek, all the love she felt for him came flooding into her heart and spilling over into his mind. He closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath as he let it soak in; he wanted to hold her so desperately. He didn't know if it would be appropriate. "Can I hold you imzadi? Just for a moment before you go? Please?" His plea was so woeful, so forlorn, she couldn't say no. He reached out his arms and she slowly walked into them. He grasped her tightly, clasping her to his chest and kissing her head. "Oh Deanna, Deanna, where did we go wrong?" he cried as tears began to fall onto her hair. Deanna began to sob clutching his arms tightly in her fingers. She could not speak. She didn't know where they had gone wrong, only that she was leaving her imzadi, her soul's only true love. She couldn't stop crying and trembling in his arms. He stepped back, took ahold of her shoulders, and looked into her face. "This is really goodbye, isn't it? I'm never going to see you again." His voice cracked and he could barely get out the last few words. Deanna with a trembling lip reached up and touched a lock of his hair. "Yes, imzadi. This is goodbye." she whispered. "But isn't imzadi forever?" he asked, starting to sob again, a desperate tone to his voice. Deanna thought for a moment. "I thought it was" was all she could whisper as she looked down at the ground. There was nothing more for either of them to say. Deanna looked back up to Will, and they stood there a few moments longer staring into each other's eyes, tears streaming down their faces. Then Will, unable to contain his emotions any longer turned and ran out of the room, clasping his hand over his mouth to stop the sobs. Deanna knelt on the floor, touching her hair where he had cried into it. _"I love you imzadi"_ she whispered into the air, careful not to send it into his mind. But Will heard it, that wonderful mysterious imzadi bond carried it to him anyway, and as he turned the corner to his corridor, he doubled over, grabbing onto the wall as he heard it, and sent back to her "_I love you too imzadi."_

Many years passed and Deanna was thriving on her home world of Betazed. She had married a son of the second house and was wealthy beyond compare. They had decided not to have children but to pour themselves into their careers, his a Diplomat to the Klingon home world and Deanna a psychology teacher at the University. Their marriage was full of laughter and love, but not the kind of love she carried in her heart for Will Riker. She had settled, out of necessity, and her husband was aware of her imzadi bond. Being Betazed himself, he understood all too completely. His imzadi had died when they were still young. But he and Deanna had found a middle ground, and were a comfort to each other. Back on the Enterprise Will and Julie had two children, a son, Thomas, and a daughter, Iana. Will told Julie he liked the name, but never told her it was after Deanna's father. After Deanna left, Will had never been the same. He became abrupt and difficult. The part of his heart that had been so compassionate was shut down. His crew grew to fear him more than love him. And Julie, finally fed up with it all, left him. He became bitter and lost. Julie took the children with her, but Will kept contact with them, not wanting to abandon them like his own father had done to him. He was never offered another Captaincy and retired at the young age of 65. He returned to Alaska, where he spent most of his time fishing and thinking of Deanna. One day he received a communiqué from Betazed, from a man named Barra Mayeel. "Deanna's dying. Please come." was all it said. He was stunned beyond belief, but hastily took the next available shuttle and arrived two days later on Betazed. Barra met him at the shuttle-port. "I am Deanna's husband" he had said. "She has contracted a Betazoid blood disease and there is nothing they can do for her. She wouldn't admit it, but I know she wanted to see you." Will looked at him, surprised, not understanding his generosity. "I had an imzadi once…" he said as he looked at Will with kind black eyes. "Rabeem." Will's heart broke at his kindness and understanding, and they hurried as quickly as they could back to Deanna's home. When Will came through the door to her room, he could immediately see the long black curls tinged with gray. They had not seen each other nor talked for two decades. "Deanna" he whispered hoarsely as he ran up to her bed and took her hand. She turned her head to look at him, her face drawn and her body weak. She slowly lifted her trembling hand to touch his cheek. "_Imzadi_" she whispered in a hoarse voice as she tried to smile. Will grasped her hand and held it to his mouth as he kissed it over and over again and began to cry. He cried for all the years they had lost, for the life they never had. He wept for the loss of her in his life, for the blazing love he held for her that was never satisfied. "Imzadi, don't cry" Deanna said quietly as she touched his tears with her fingers. "Don't you know? Imzadi is forever." He placed her hand back on his cheek as he looked at her. "Deanna" he whispered as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. After a moment she slowly closed her eyes and her breathing stopped. "Imzadi?" Will said. When there was no response he cried "Imzadi!" as he lowered his head to her abdoman and wept. He lay his hands on her body and buried his face further into her side, weeping and sobbing. Barra stood back and allowed the imzadi couple to be together. He could not stand in the way of this couple's final moment to be together after such a heart rending life. After a long, long while Will stood and faced Barra, unable to speak, still shaking with his sobs. His heart was fully broken, fully shattered into a million tiny pieces. Barra asked him to come to the funeral. They laid Deanna to rest in the mausoleum next to her mother, and Will made the trip back to Alaska. Something changed in Will's heart that day. That one moment with his beloved, the one chance to touch her, touch her soul, softened his heart. He realized he needed to make something of his last years on earth. He reached out to Julie and asked her forgiveness. He requested joint custody of his children and spent wonderful summers with them. He had grandchildren that he spoiled rotten. And he lived out his days in his beloved Alaska. He never completely recovered from the loss of Deanna and the loss of his life, but he became a much better man than he'd been before. At the age of 102 his heart began to give out, and his son came to live with him. "Dad, maybe you should go to the hospital" Thomas encouraged. "No, I want to die at home. In my own bed" Will had said. On the day he knew his time had come, he called his son, son's wife, and grandchildren to his bedside to say goodbye. He hugged his grandson, glorying in this life that would carry on his name. He held his son for a long time, loving him and kissing him, assuring him everything would be alright. And then, William T. Riker, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Will felt a bright light all around him, shining intensely on his face. It woke him up. He slowly tried to open one eye, then the other, shielding them with his hand. He smelled fresh grass and felt a gentle warm breeze caress his face. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he slowly sat up. He was wearing a Starfleet uniform, but it was different. It was the uniform he wore when he first came aboard the Enterprise. He placed his hands on the ground to try and slowly stand, and found it was quite easy. He felt young and strong, and not sick anymore. As he turned to scan his surroundings he tried to figure out where he was and how he got there. It was the most beautiful place he had ever seen; mountains in the distance, a brook babbling along a few feet away, fragrant flowers and a forest of brightly colored trees just beyond the brook. It was other-wordly. Almost as if it would disappear if he touched it. Almost as if everything were made of clouds and mist. He saw someone in the distance, gathering flowers towards the other end of the brook. He heard humming. He walked towards her and as he got closer, he realized how much her hair and back resembled Deanna when he had first met her. God, his heart still hurt every time he thought of his imzadi, how much he missed her. "Excuse me, miss? Can you tell me where I am?" he asked quietly so as not to scare her. She stood up from where she'd been kneeling and slowly turned towards him. A smile as bright as a thousand suns greeted him, nearly blinded him, and as his eyes adjusted he stumbled in shock. "oh my god" he breathed.

"Welcome home, imzadi" the woman whispered, and it was the most beautiful voice he had ever heard as she reached up to touch his cheek. Her caress was silken, and he was frozen in place, he could not speak. Deanna giggled as she looked at him flirtatiously. "You… you're….you're young"….he managed to stutter out. "Of course I am. So are you" she replied. Will looked down at himself for the first time. It was his younger self, as if he had not aged since he'd met Deanna. He reached his hand up to touch hers and realized he had no beard. "Imzadi" he breathed as he stared into her eyes and tears began to roll down his cheeks. "Imzadi, imzadi" he whispered again as he reached out to take her into his arms, not caring what was going on, not caring if it was a dream, only wanting to hold her. She stepped forward and melted into him, placing kisses on his neck and his cheek. "Oh god, Will, I've missed you so much. I've been waiting for you, my love." After a while of holding her tightly and shedding his tears into her hair, he stepped back and looked into her eyes again. "Deanna, where am I? What is this?" he asked. "Is it a dream?" "No, imzadi" she replied as she smiled. "It's not a dream. It's our future. I'd always heard that this place existed but thought it was a myth. This is where imzadi couples come when they die if they never completed their bond in life. This is sort of their second chance. When I died, I came here and immediately knew that I would be waiting for you." "Then I'm….I'm….." "Dead?" Deanna chuckled. "Yes, imzadi you are. But now we are alive in another place and another time. A final chance for us to be together. God, you have no idea how much I have longed for this day." Will simply stared at her. He was trying to take in all her beauty, all her love. His heart had longed for this for decades, an eternity, even. A second chance with his imzadi? How could the universe be so kind?" "_Because the universe always smiles on imzadi couples_" she'd heard his thoughts and responded. He reached out his trembling fingers to touch her cheek. She leaned her face into his hand and closed her eyes, relishing his touch. He gently pulled her towards him, tilting her chin up with his finger. How long had it been since he'd kissed her? Years? Decades? How long had he wanted to, to touch her, to feel his lips pressed against hers? He was still in awe and could not believe any of this was happening. But it was, and he drew his face towards hers as she waited, breathless. He leaned in and brushed his lips against the sweetness of her mouth, then again, then kissed her more fervently, then desperately. She responded, just as desperate to taste him, touch him, kiss him. They clung to each other and kissed as deeply and passionately as they ever had and the breeze swirled happily around them. After a long while he pulled back, barely able to catch his breath. "Deanna, how long?" he asked. She looked shyly at the ground then back up at him, her cheeks flushed with desire. "One year. Then we join the others; the friends and family that have gone on before us." He gently rubbed his thumb back and forth across her cheek. "A year, huh? Then we'd better get started." She giggled as he gently took her by the shoulders and pushed her down to the ground. "Imzadi, don't you think we should catch up first? We haven't talked in, oh say, a few decades". "Talking is overrated" he whispered as he lay on top of her and stifled her objection with a kiss. But love and talk they did, in the following days and months, and finally, finally, they came to an understanding of why they danced around each other for so many years when deep down, they both still loved each other. Why she was with Worf, why he was with Julie. Why it never quite seemed to work. They forgave each other, and spent the year falling more deeply in love than they thought possible, loving each other so thoroughly and completely, completing their bond, enjoying each other in ways they'd never had a chance to in their lifetime. William Riker and Deanna Troi became imzadi in every possible sense of the word. And as the year wound to a close and they walked hand in hand into the afterlife where their friends and family were waiting for them, Will heard Deanna's voice over and over again in his mind "Don't you know? Imzadi is forever…Imzadi is forever"…


End file.
